What I’d like to share with you today is in three parts: first, gratitude for the support without which I could not pull this together and for the sisterhood that we create each time we meet like this. Second, the “why” of this get together, what I am aiming to create by gathering, and, finally, my thoughts on the theme of the party, Beauty.

Barb Mathey, goody bags

Shelly Morris with her Lion & Rose soap, deodorant, and bath bombs.

Lisa Bakke, catering

Bartender Lynne Rooney Gatekeeper Lola Miranda, and keeping the music going Emily Aldridge and Elie Young

Table Hosts: Barb Mathey, Dianne Gregoire, Gail Young, Lisa Carpenter, Raquel Muller, and Sally Parker

I have printed up half sheets to both thank all my table hosts and support team and to also give you contact information if you want to get in touch, so please feel free to take that with you. Thank you to everyone that donated to the raffle

Raffle - ticket at the door? Additional $1 each or 6 for $5, cash goes to the WildChild fund.

The WWS has now been a nonprofit corporation for over 3 years. I’d like to introduce and acknowledge my board Lisa, Barb, Sue Ellen. Thank you to OCF for grants that keep me going.

• Because I wanted to add a charitable aspect to the WWS I created the WildChild Fund - (not child), woman in need of support, a portion of each paid door fee goes into the WC fund, and as I mentioned, all of the raffle funds, but more than just financial - its finding ways that we can support, connect, and collaborate.
• Amara’s table, supporting her art and beautiful and unique jewelry + Ari/ L&C, scholarship

This is ongoing and if you have someone you would like to nominate to be a WildChild please contact me.

Flora Rudolph Tree Card Readings. Flora has found that each tree species has a different quality, or energy, such as peace, relieving sadness or grief, joy, beauty, transcendence, female power, diligence and so much more. She has created a card deck and is working on having it published! She’s offering readings today, $10/10min.
Her readings are tune-in tools for clarity and for an opening to what your soul, and your heart need to receive.

I’d like to also introduce our Guest Artist Janet Clancy-Feliciano Primarily a self-taught artist, I met Janet through previous guest artist Sarah Goodnough. I love her fun and whimsical creations and especially the vibrant gorgeous colors she chooses. Janet is a mother, friend, sister, daughter. An employee, runner, business owner, and wanna-be gardener.

Having a guest artist to share their experience is part of my bringing new and different forms of expression to this group.

I like to repeat the “why” of this group. Sure, at it’s most simplistic The WWS is a party. An excuse to get together, have some nibbles and bubbly, take home a fun goody bag and maybe even win the raffle. In fact, I took this over from Della Rae (10 years ago if you can believe it!) calling The WWS Party. I wanted it to be a super easy, relaxing, self care afternoon. But under all that are many layers - everything from introducing you to fabulous musicians you can support, to one of my favorite topics, the Rise of the Divine Feminine. It is deceptively simple: when women gather together, when we really support each other, the result is MAGIC.

My mission statement remains: to bring women of all age, race, and background together to encourage self care. I am continually developing and creating this platform where I can present Self Care to you in many different ways. I do this to both to appeal to all your senses, and to give us all exposure to different communities. I love to read and I love to learn and this is my attempt to tie what I have been learning and the things I am passionate about together and share them with you - to give you some things to chew on and explore for yourself.
Some of the ‘many layers’ are:
* Divine Feminine - by definintion: aspect of the self associated with "creation, intuition, community, sensuality (felt sense rather than thinking sense), and collaboration. feminine qualities do not have to mean a woman. Masculine qualities are more structured, logic, calculating, left brain if you will. The rise of the DF just means allowing the feminine qualities in everyone to have their place and a balancing out of our previous several centuries of overemphasizing masculine qualities and vilifying and demeaning the feminine.

• Privilege/the best path to understanding privilege I have found is LISTENING. Not just listening, but deep listening.

In the book Rising, by Elizabeth Rush, she is writing specifically about climate change, but her thoughts apply to history and current events as well:
“When my nonfiction students jump into a new writing project I ask that they immerse themselves in the tradition of which they wish to be a part and to try to note what is missing. Whose voices or perspectives have been left out? For too long, environmental concerns in the US have largely been in the domain of those who can afford to visit nature in their free time, who have the privilege to choose where and how they want to live. But the reality is that many living on climate change’s front lines are low- to working-class people and communities of color, whose relationships with the more-than-human world regularly go unaccounted for in the “official story” of environmentalism we tell in this country.”

• Unique YOU - your inner beauty, your bodhichitta. this is a thought that brought me comfort when I had some pretty dark times.
• small is big
• Sistering/community: Rebecca Campbell: The sisters you are longing and looking for are also longing and looking for you. Embrace your weirdness, own your potency, and speak up so they can hear you.

I am (slowly) learning to own that my personal unique gift, my superpower, may never be big scale, as I always thought it needed to be. I still struggle with this every day, does what I am trying to do make any difference? The beauty in pausing today and examining the different aspects of what beauty means is that we can respect them all: our creativity and expression in the arts and music, the importance of balancing divine feminine and masculine, the power of learning and growing through difficult subjects like privilege, basic humanity, and common ground, and the confidence that our small acts and our words have powerful impact.

In the months before my events I spend a LOT of time thinking about my theme. And inevitably I think about its opposite as well, here, ugly. There is an awful lot of ugly in the world. A lot to fear, and an equal amount to get angry about. In 2019 I set an intention to see the beauty in every single person. I’m sure it’s not a huge confession to you that I did not succeed in this, but intentions do not require 100% success, they only call for 100% commitment. My 2020 intention is similar, perhaps a bit more doable: right after the new year my friend sent me a picture she had taken that morning. It was a very large pig on a leash and her comment was about how it was a WTF moment. Inspired by that I decided that in 2020 I would try to find WTF moments every day. I’m giving myself some leeway though because WTF felt a bit too extreme - so far I had a glorious walk on the Oregon beach, 61 degrees, sunny and calm on January 3rd, that amazing sunrise at the end of January that many of you probably saw too, and at the top of my list is the hummingbird I looked in the eye as he hovered right outside my kitchen window last month. Most of all, these intentions of the last 2 years are about noticing.

There are so many beautiful things in this world: 
The Gift from the Sea Anne Morrow Lindburgh

There are people who cry and cry, get angry, complain bitterly on social media - and I get this, I really do. None of this is to say you should not get angry. Something that really empowered me was the book The Language of Emotions by Karla McClaren. Anger, for example: getting wrapped up in your anger can be passive. Looking at your anger, asking it questions, armed with the knowledge that the presence of anger means something needs to be protected or defended, this can give you something to push off of. For as many women I know that sit in their emotions or let them play out viciously online, I know and seek out twice as many that turn those powerful, deep emotions into powerful and deep action. You probably know by now I’m a big Glennon Doyle fan - she started out as a “mommy blogger”, is a writer and now an activist. She has taken her pain (and she has had her share!), her passion, and her huge heart and created Together Rising. When she puts out a call that families at the border need financial and legal help to reunite she is able to gather, for example, $2 million in 2 days. I see women spending their precious time creating beauty: 3 of them highlighted today - art, music, poetry, and flowers…and many more hidden amongst you. This truly ties into my reason for gathering women like this. When the ugly gets to you, and it will, shape that sorrow, anger, and frustration, into beauty. That’s what women do. We may be told that all these things are trivial and unimportant, that tangible products, making big money, increasing the bottom line are the only things that matter. And so it can be hard to stay the course and follow your heart. But that, my friends, is where the beauty lies. And for the people with the courage to really do that, the rewards come.

one of my longtime friends posted: Don’t get mad and lose hope! And don’t try argue and debate on Facebook, thinking you can somehow change someone’s mind (note to self: they’ve already decided if they’re posting vitriol.) Don’t waste your precious time, energy, and overall outlook. DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE. Her daughter donates $5 to her own cause every time someone’s online political rant makes her mad.

And if you want to get really science-y about the effect of small actions, according to quantum physics a particle vibrating due to your sound when you speak can affect a molecule inside a star at the edge of the Universe instantly. This phenomenon is known as quantum entanglement. The greatest illusion of the Universe is the illusion of separation. The Butterfly Effect, the flap of a butterfly’s wings having an effect on a tornado.

This is why I often quote from Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper. She is presenting ways to find the beauty in a life that is so fraught and full of hate and fear.. Life can suck, but we get to choose what to do with it. In the midst of ugly there are people dedicating their lives to educating girls (I hardly need to quote statistics to a room of women, but absolutely solid statistics exist to support the many ways girls education lifts entire communities and in turn the world: fewer pregnancies with healthier babies, fewer maternal deaths, increased socio economic growth - educated women improve the entire community, and more), Many times in my life I have felt diminished or ridiculed for not engaging with negativity. Love doesn’t seem to have a place in a country that values commerce, economic success, and constant activity above all else.   But that I choose to look for the positive, the creative, and ways to counter bad situations in no way means that I do not care. Becoming part of the negativity does not improve the situation. And when all is said and done, when everything else drops away, when you hold your parent’s hand or lay next to them in their hospice bed, when someone you love needs you, when the world’s ugliness overwhelms you, what is left standing is the beauty of love.

Guest Musician Beth Wood has been touring and recording for 20+ years, has 11 solo albums, 2 books of poetry, a collection of awkward stories from the road called Facepalm.  Last year her poetry book called Ladder to the Light won the Oregon Book Award’s Reader’s Choice Award. She is also a song coach and facilitates songwriting workshops and retreats. Her album Deep Blue from her project with Ara Lee james debuted last year.

Heidi Berkman is the founder and president of The Bloom Project, a nonprofit organization that takes flowers destined to be discarded and repurposes them to hospice patients and their families. This is a simple act of kindness created by a virtual army of donors and volunteers.

What I’d like to share with you today is in three parts: first, gratitude for the support without which I could not pull this together and for the sisterhood that we create each time we meet like this. Second, the “why” of this get together, what I am aiming to create by gathering, and, finally, my thoughts on the theme of the party, Power
Kym Lardieri filling in for Shelly Morris with her Lion & Rose soap, deodorant, and bath bombs. Check out the Wild Woman soap!

Lisa Bakke, catering

Bartender Dani Gregoire Russell, Gatekeepers Julia Stenberg and Sydni Hodnot, and keeping the music going Emily Aldridge

Table Hosts: Barb Mathey, Kathy Wery, Dianne Gregoire, Sabrina Blair, Lisa Carpenter, and Lisa Jaqua

I have printed up half sheets to both thank all my table hosts and support team and to also give you contact information if you want to get in touch, so please feel free to take that with you. Thank you to everyone that donated to the raffle

Raffle - ticket at the door? Additional $1 each or 6 for $5, cash goes to the WildChild fund.

The WWS has now been a nonprofit corporation for over 3 years. I’d like to introduce and acknowledge my board Lisa, Barb, Sue Ellen. Thank you to OCF for grants that keep me going.

And what is this WildChild Fund?? Because I wanted to add a charitable aspect to the WWS - one where we could contribute more than just money, we could explore the possibilities of supporting as a community, making connections that are helpful and sometimes life changing, and practice sistering. I created the WildChild Program. You may have gathered, our WildChild is not a child, but is a woman in need of support of all kinds, and this ties back to sistering, and being part of a community. Our first was Amara, who many of you know, and our second is Lisa Carpenter, who is here with us today as a table host.

This is ongoing and if you have someone you would like to nominate to be a WildChild please contact me.

Karlita intuitive reading, $15 for 15 minutes - counseling astrologer, intuitive coach, and hospice nurse practitioner.

I’d like to also introduce our Guest Artist Sue Jensen (goody box trades allowed)

Sue has been painting for over 32 years and teaching for 25 and her work has evolved in many directions over the years. She finds her art calming and centering and loves the feel and smell of beeswax.
Right now she is working on encaustics, collages, and acrylics. Encaustic painting, for those of you that are unfamiliar with it, uses beeswax and damar resin, heated on a palette.  Each layer of wax applied, whether clear or colored, must be fused to the layer below.  This way a solid foundation is established and the wax is embedded into the surface, thus becoming archival.  This method is older than oils, so has been tested well.  The Greeks used this wax mixture in shipbuilding, and the early Egyptians used this method in their famous Fayem portraits. 

“Any form of art is a form of power; it has impact, it can affect change – it can not only move us, it makes us move.”
― Ossie Davis

The late, great writer Ursula Le Guin said:
“We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable. So did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, and very often in our art, the art of words.”

So having a guest artist to share their experience is part of my bringing new and different forms of expression to this group.

I like to repeat the “why” of this group. Sure, at it’s most simplistic The WWS is a party. An excuse to get together, have some nibbles and bubbly, take home a fun goody bag and maybe even win the raffle. But under all that are many layers - everything from introducing you to fabulous musicians you can support, to one of my favorite topics, the Rise of the Divine Feminine. It is deceptively simple: when women gather together, when we really support each other, the result is MAGIC.

My mission statement remains: to bring women of all age, race, and background together to encourage self care. I am continually developing and creating this platform where I can present Self Care to you in many different ways. I do this to both to appeal to all your senses, and to give us all exposure to different communities.

I have been waxing on about Divine Feminine for so long now that I assume you know what I mean, but let me back up here and define it:

The Sacred Feminine is the feminine force of creation that embodies the qualities of nurturing, receptivity, creativity, compassion, intuition, sensuality, inclusion, mystery, renewal and unconditional love. 
And to help put this in a wider context. The Sacred Masculine is the masculine force of creation that embodies the qualities of action, drive, focus, illumination, determination, achievement, logic, order, and higher consciousness.
Every human being possesses both feminine and masculine principles and potentials. Although the Sacred Feminine is equally present in all genders, many of its qualities have been denigrated and assigned to being merely female and therefore “less than.”
I always want to emphasize the need for both masculine and feminine - in every human.
From Elaine Welteroth’s book More Than Enough; Claiming Space for who you are (no matter what they say)

“The world doesn’t prepare girls—especially little brown girls—to see the bigness of their dreams. It doesn’t train us to embrace the expansiveness of our own possibilities. And small towns tend to reinforce small thinking. So seeing our full potential isn’t work we can do alone. We need the other women in our tribe. Friends. Sisters. Mothers. Professors. When women affirm women, it unlocks our power. It gives us permission to shine brighter.

Women are taught to work hard and to play by the rules. We are taught to never overstep, to stay in our lane, to keep our head down, to go with the flow, to never be too loud or disagreeable. Not to be bossy. Not to be pushy. We are not encouraged to know our worth, let alone to demand it. We are not given the tools to fight for ourselves or taught to challenge authority. Instead, we are taught—in subtle and overt ways—to give up our power, to take what we can get, and to be grateful. Whatever it is, whatever it takes, you just do it. And you do it well. With a smile. Whether it feels good or not. Women aren’t taught to get comfortable with making people uncomfortable.”

“wokeness” doesn’t work like a light switch. You don’t just turn it on and boom, “You’re woke!” Instead, it is a process of learning, listening, stripping away the blinders that privilege puts on, and exposing yourself to suffering that doesn’t always affect you in order to act from a place of understanding and empathy.”

In my own personal journey I remember thinking privilege has the connotation of money - many people who started with very little money and then earned it assume that that is what is meant by privilege. Human brains love to sort ala Harry Potter, categorize things, place them neatly in a labeled box, then sit back and enjoy not having to rethink. But I’m willing to bet each of you has been put in a box that they did not appreciate or feel like they fit into. People are so much more complex than that. Once you step back and question you see the world through a different lens. An easy example is Disney. How can anyone not love Disney? And yet. We finally stepped back and questioned story after story of a helpless female getting rescued by a manly man and the result has been storylines and heroines you’d actually want your daughters to emulate. That is a seemingly frivolous example, what about white privilege? The importance of examining what privilege means to each and every one of us cannot be underestimated. Here is another privilege I am now more aware of: connections. Making connections has always been part of my life. Our parents taught us to call on connections for anything from college recommendations, to jobs, to loans. This is not to say that connections are not ok - this is something that I really love. The awareness piece is recognizing how easy or difficult it is for individuals to make those connections. I also had a nice home, loving parents, enough to eat, and nice clothes. What if you never had those advantages, ever? America boasts that it is the land of opportunity - and it is for sure, but minority groups and our most vulnerable populations continue to struggle. 

Brene Brown says:
To not have conversations because they make you uncomfortable is the very definition of privilege.
The people who are targeted by racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. are not responsible for initiating these conversations and building the tables where they should be happening. That’s not how this works. We have to be able to choose courage over comfort, to say look: I don’t know if I’m going to nail this, but I’m going to try because what I’m sure as hell not going to do is stay quiet. That’s what we can’t do. Yeah, you’re going to make mistakes, be uncomfortable, learn about blind spots you didn’t even know you had.
Take learning it into your own hands , not make other people responsible for teaching it. That’s how we’re going to move forward. But if you think there is going to be real conversation around equity and diversity while you remain comfortable, that is not going to happen. And it shouldn’t happen.
I have woven conversation about privilege into my events for some time now. I am trying to constantly learn about my part in the larger privilege conversation. Unlearning lifelong assumptions is a journey not a destination, I learn a new perspective and then another one surfaces…many of them cannot even rise up until I get my next pair of lenses! But I feel so passionately that this kind of conversation plus deep listening is what is desperately needed.

I am doing the world no service seeking, searching, reading, and gathering all this information then keeping silent. Women like me who have been quietly living their lives, keeping the peace and at the same time longing for peace for others - we owe it to the world and to our sisters to speak up, to connect, and to share the things we learn. Aristotle said: “The more you know the more you know you don’t know”! Now is not the time for complacency and knowledge without action is like no knowledge at all
So how does this all, fit with the theme of power’?

When we think of the definition of power we may think of overwhelming strength, as in overpowering, dominance, and other masculine words.

But, Power comes from the Latin word potere, which means "to be able.”. No mention of force or strength.

Digging deeper I found another: The true definition of power is our ability to make our own choices. ... Sometimes power means standing strong…but sometimes it means choosing to step aside. Sometimes power means having our say…but sometimes it means choosing to let others have theirs

There is power in words that we cannot and should not deny. Who didn’t have a grandparent that said things we would never consider saying? My parents were better, but there were still some things that although I didn’t notice it at the time, remembering back, they were awful. With awareness and consciousness we have all begun to be more mindful of our words. It is shameful that there is ever a time when someone thinks it is ok to ridicule another and this is something that we must find our voices to stop. It ties in to bullying and shame in the most vulnerable among us.
And not just words, but small actions. When my daughter Nicole was still little, in her carseat, we drove by a woman and  I heard her little voice chime from the backseat: “Momma! I taketed a smile from her and she taketed a smile from me!” There is great power in a kind thought shared, a smile from a child, thoughtful actions. A kind stranger can change the course of your whole day.
Greta Thunberg is a 16 year old climate activist from Sweden. She has been in the news a lot and the criticism of her is kinda wild.
criticized for being angry - women don’t get to be unattractive in their anger.
criticized for not doing anything, and not providing solutions. She is speaking out on a HUGE topic, raising awareness, and proposing action. This sure seems like something to me.
criticized for her manner and mocked…for having Aspergers - really?!

“I was so frustrated that nothing was being done about the climate crisis and I felt like I had to do something, anything. And sometimes NOT doing things - like just sitting down outside the parliament - speaks much louder than doing things. Just like a whisper sometimes is louder than shouting.’

One of the quotes I posted pre-event is: “there is only one you, and that is your superpower”. More often we are able to spot it in others easily. Keep doing this, tell your sisters what you see in them because looking for genius in others lifts us all up! It isn’t as obvious to you yourself, it isn’t always easy to find, but I encourage you to stay curious and go in search of your very core, the thing that makes you uniquely YOU. There are so many people here to help you figure things out. Find people that resonate for you, while holding honor for people that don’t - they are every bit as necessary for others! There are 7.7 billion humans on earth and the patriarchal idea that competition is the only way to survive, club, and kill, and conquer…I’m going to suggest that perhaps there is a different way! That is why there is room here for women that have similar offerings: plenty of people needing help, plenty of different ways needed. The question I would have you all ponder is, what will you do with your unique genius, your Superpower?
From the book Urgent Message from Mother by Jean Shinola Bolen
“Where masculinity is defined as power and being in control, men fear feminine qualities and suppress them in themselves.
The half of humanity in charge of the world’s agenda is led by men addicted to power and maintaining their dominance. It is time to gather women to save the world.”

The way power has manifested for me is learning to own that my personal unique gift, my superpower, may never be big scale, as I have traditionally defined power, and as I have admired it in others. I still struggle with this every day, does what I am trying to do make any difference? The beauty in pausing today and examining the different aspects of what power means is that we can respect them all: our creativity and expression in the arts and music, the importance of balancing divine feminine and masculine, the power of learning and growing through difficult subjects like privilege, humanity, and common ground, and the confidence that our small acts and our words have powerful impact.

Carol will be up in a bit - I deliberately do NOT know what my speaker is going to say (only in general) because it challenges me to let go and allow a flow that, I swear to you, amazes me every single time. It is terrifying because my temptation is to micromanage the hell out of the event, but this is all part of my relinquishment process! For now, there is an envelope for each table host.

Guest Musicians Camille and Ashley Perry, Complimentary Colors
- Camille and Ashley have only been a musical duo for about 3 years but we have many musical friends in common and I do not know how our paths have not crossed before, but in a fun turn of synchronicity, CC bubbled up two times in quick succession and on a beautiful sunny Saturday we sat together as they decompressed from a busy schedule of shows. There is a lot to love and learn from these two but I’ll share just one special thing: Ashley is pretty shy and quiet and had not even sung publicly before they met. This would be the inspiration and power of trying something unexpected and following your curiosity to find something new and rewarding  that you may not have even believed you could do.

Dr. Carol Parker Walsh - hopefully you had a chance to check out Carol’s website and learn a little bit about her. I love her tagline: unapologetically be and do you. I met Carol about 10 years ago when we were both selling Silpada jewelry, but on both sides of that chapter of her life Carol has been an attorney, management consultant, executive, professor, and dean. She has also been A TEDx speaker, two-time Amazon #1 best selling author, international speaker, global thought leader and member of Forbes Coaches Council, Carol was the Editor-in-Chief of the AICI Global Magazine and wrote for the Vancouver Business Journal. Yup, a bit of a slacker. I had some theme words in mind when Carol and I chatted, but then she suggested Power and it was an immediate yes! for me. She is the embodiment of power, and not just because she has that incredible resume to back it up. She has the power of huge energy, sass and confidence. There’s so much more - obviously I could wax on about Carol even longer, but let’s get to the good stuff and let her tell you herself!

What I’d like to share with you today is in three parts: first, gratitude for the support without which I could not pull this together and for the sisterhood that we create each time we meet like this. Second, the “why” of this get together, what I am aiming to create by gathering, and, finally, my thoughts on the theme of the party.


And what is this WildChild Fund?? Because I wanted to add a charitable aspect to the WWS - one where we could contribute more than just money, we could explore the possibilities of supporting as a community, making connections that are helpful and sometimes life changing, and practice sistering. I created the WildChild Program. Our first was Amara, who many of you know, and our second is Lisa Carpenter, who is here with us today.


This is ongoing and if you have someone you would like to nominate to be a WildChild please contact me.


New to the party is Paige, a Shaman and Functional Nutritionist who is offering intuitive card and crystal readings. She uses her divination skills to provide you with insight. If you have a question or are curious what messages your guides have in store for you, ask a shaman! 
Paige's connection to mother earth and a call to return to the PNW away from her job in the hospitality industry kickstarted her journey as a healer. Definitely an old soul, Paige uses both Shamanic Energy Medicine and Functional Nutrition to empower you to become your own healer


I’d like to also introduce our Guest Artist Olivia Oso
Olivia has been a creative soul as far back as she can remember but did not have the tools to connect with her muse. At the age of fifty she met Paul Heussenstamm,  a master painter and teacher of the ancient wisdom of the mandala, and learned art as a sacred practice. Through this Olivia was able to uncover deeper truths about herself and experience more connection to nature. Four years ago she met an amazing teacher that changed her life, Shiloh Sophia McCloud, a visionary soul who teaches women all around the world about intentional creativity. Working with Shiloh further deepened Olivia’s connection with the sacred and divine feminine. She leads retreats, teaches workshops, and offers private sessions in her studio.


The WWS has now been a nonprofit corporation for over 3 years. I’d like to introduce and acknowledge my board Lisa, Barb, Sue Ellen).


I like to begin by repeating the “why” of this group. Sure, at it’s most simplistic The WWS is a party. An excuse to get together, have some nibbles and bubbly, take home a fun goody bag and maybe even win the raffle. But under all that are many layers - everything from introducing you to a fabulous musician you can support, to one of my favorite topics, the Rise of the Divine Feminine. It is deceptively simple: when women gather together, when we really support each other, the result is MAGIC.


And the mission statement remains: to bring women of all age, race, and background together to encourage self care. My aim is to develop and create a platform where I can present Self Care to you in many different ways. I do this to both to appeal to all your senses and to give us all exposure to different communities.


Under the very broad umbrella of self care - I mean, it can mean anything from taking a bath to going to a retreat to taking time to meditate - there is a lot of room to explore the many ways to do it. I have several recurring themes to my events: 1. the magic of bringing women together, how very important and powerful it is, 2. How we can support others (each other, our Wild Child, artists, musicians, authors, and more), which leads to 3. The rise of the Divine Feminine and the needed swing back from extreme patriarchy to a place of balance (plus a little bit of privilege awareness and encouragement to ACT thrown in for good measure, because knowledge without action is like no knowledge at all)


In Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper Mirabai Starr contributed an article titled: Why we Need to Build an Interconnected Community of Women


Women build community. Not as a mason fabricates a fireplace or a developer plans a shopping mall to maximize consumerism. We create community the way we create a family or a symphony or a good meal: without a lot of grandiosity or demand for accolades. We empower one another. We ask questions, and then we listen, and then we respond. When I lead grief retreats or teach writing workshops — which are largely populated by women — it takes about five minutes before community begins to magically coalesce before my eyes. Without my doing a thing, the people in the room gravitate toward one another and take the risk to trust. They notice one another’s wounds and tend them, detect one another’s vulnerabilities and protect them, read the stories of one another’s souls and affirm them. How did that happen? I used to wonder. But I’ve begun to rely on the invisible force that transmutes a cluster of strangers into a circle of safety. It is the Shekinah (a Hebrew word for the feminine attributes of the presence of God) in our midst. She comes when we get out of our own way.
A more feminine flavor of leadership is not something that only women crave. It is nourishment for men as well. Feminine wisdom feeds the human spirit. There are countless women hearing the call, extending their hands, blessing and strengthening us to step up. We cannot and should not transmute the toxins of the prevailing paradigm inside the cells of our own individual bodies. The alchemy happens in a circle. We need to weave together our threads of care and transfigure this tapestry. It is only together that we can reimagine the territorial treaty we’ve inherited as a generous invitation to a communal feast. Look around. Your allies are everywhere. And they love you.


In A New Earth Eckhart Tolle also talks about it: “The suppression of the feminine principle especially over the past 2000 years has enabled the ego to gain absolute supremacy in the collective human psyche”, noting that although women of course have egos, the ego does not take root and grow as easily in women, who are more in touch with their inner body and more open and sensitive to other life forms, more attuned to the natural world.
He continues “But things are changing rapidly now with many people becoming more conscious, the ego is losing its hold on the human mind.”


Rebecca Campbell says it too in her book Rise Sister Rise
“The rise of the Divine Feminine is not about women rising over men. It is about remembering a time when every woman was seen as sacred.  We are being called to bring about a balance between the feminine and the masculine energies. Within ourselves and in our world at large. Both are sacred and needed… the rising feminine is not something that exists only within women, but rather it is within all things and people…You’ll also find much reference to ‘patriarchy’. That word, like ‘feminism’, is so loaded. When I mention patriarchy it is to refer to the past few millennia, when society was led by a powerful few in a very linear way. An era when the sacred nature, power, and wisdom of the feminine was forgotten, controlled, silenced, or caged. …I don’t believe that the solution is for matriarchal energies to take (the place of patriarchy). Rather…an invitation for the intuitive, compassionate, wise, powerful, sacred, protective, fierce, feminine force that exists within each of us to rise, and for the sacred masculine to protect and support her rising and sacred work so that the planet can swing back into balance.”


Connecting women and encouraging the rise of the divine feminine is so important. My ultimate aim is to show again and again how seemingly small things can be done in such a way that they apply to all of the issues we are wrestling with. I mean, it all really boils down to respecting our fellow humans, but that message is getting lost too. Social media, disconnection, acquiescing to keep the peace, buying into gaslighting, all of that muddies the waters and causes us to lose our focus.


I definitely have a growing urgency and obligation to be sharing what I am learning. I am doing the world no service seeking, searching, reading, and gathering all this information then keeping silent. Women like me who have been quietly living their lives, keeping the peace and at the same time longing for peace for others - we owe it to the world and to our sisters to speak up, to connect, and to share the things we learn. I guess when I would learn something I somehow, irrationally, assumed that other people already knew about it. But that’s just not necessarily so. Plus, as Aristotle said: “The more you know the more you know you don’t know”! Now is not the time for complacency. Again, knowledge without action is like no knowledge at all
And again I want to share from that goddess Brene Brown (who has a fabulous special on Netflix, well worth watching), as we work our way toward the topic of fear but also remember the power of community:
To not have conversations because they make you uncomfortable is the very definition of privilege.
The people who are targeted by racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. are not responsible for initiating these conversations and building the tables where they should be happening. That’s not how this works. We have to be able to choose courage over comfort, to say look: I don’t know if I’m going to nail this, but I’m going to try because what I’m sure as hell not going to do is stay quiet. That’s what we can’t do. Yeah, you’re going to make mistakes, be uncomfortable, learn about blind spots you didn’t even know you had.
Take learning it into your own hands , not make other people responsible for teaching it. That’s how we’re going to move forward. But if you think there is going to be real conversation around equity and diversity while you remain comfortable, that is not going to happen. And it shouldn’t happen.
Vulnerability - uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure
you don’t measure vulnerability by the amount of disclosure. You measure it by the amount of courage to show up and be seen when you can’t control the outcome.
Here’s the thing: vulnerability is hard, and it’s scary, and it feels dangerous but it’s not as hard, scary, or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves: what if I would have shown up? what if I would have said I love you? show up, be seen, answer the call to courage, because you’re worth it. You’re worth being brave.
I refuse to allow any question of human compassion to become political. A simple nonpartisan question to ask is “is this in any way dehumanizing?”, and then let it sit. Because losing sight of our basic humanity is just unacceptable.


Keeping in mind that one of my many underlying themes is that the small stuff is, in fact, important, Now some thoughts on topic of “Fear”:
Let me start by sharing my own personal fear story. I can only talk about this now because I have put a few days and roughly a thousand miles between me and, well, let’s call him (and dear God please let it be a him) The Perpetrator. I’m an Oregonian, born and raised so I know nothing about how to handle this particular kind of perpetrator. You all can laugh, but YOU (Gail Young) may not laugh about it any more.


So I’m spending a very hot evening in Palm Springs relaxing (well, trying to relax, because, sidebar, I have not watched TV in a very long time and that old Springsteen song about 57 channels and nothing on is SO TRUE. People, and I mean this in a nonjudgemental way because I very definitely watch low-value shows, but people, please, heed Jim Rohn who said “Every day, stand guard at the door to your mind”. Regular TV is a horrible place! End sidebar) Anyhow, I’m sitting in a lounge chair and I hear a soft plop on the table next to me, look over, and DEAR GOD there is a 3.5 inch COCKROACH right there one foot away waving its antennae on the side table. Honestly, just one foot over and he would have landed in my lap. OK, fine so there he sits and I’m a firm believer in knowing where the enemy is so it is on me to capture him. I do a little breathing and get a clear plastic container to trap him…carefully…oh I did NOT know that they move so fast I really thought I had it and it was no where to be seen. Oh now I’m thinking of booking a hotel room! But I gather (what’s left of) my courage and go into the master bedroom and stuff a towel at the bottom of the door. The next day I don’t see the General and after a pretty restless second night I’m ready to leave and hope he dies over the summer (yeah right, its a cockroach!). Last day, I go by the second bathroom and there he is! right in the middle of the floor. Ok, now what?? There were two men cleaning the pool so I went down and told them I’m an ill-equipped Oregonian and could they help me and one of them so kindly said yes. He came up with a net and a towel - told me to stay in the other room and within a minute he had it. And his name was, truly, Salvador. Now if you’ve read Courtenay’s book you know she took on waayyyy scarier stuff, but that’s my best, most recent fear story! And thankfully I lived to tell the tale and he (she?) didn’t!


One more thing about fear: of course doing this fills me with fear even though this is party #28…but contemplating what exactly it is that I’m afraid of (other than run of the mill disasters like an ice storm or a crucial no-show, which have in fact happened), really, and I would venture to guess that it happens to anyone that creates something deeply personal, it is that people will not like or support what I am doing, that people think I’m nuts for doing my “little parties for women”. Of course it isn’t this group, it is the imaginary group of people that run rampant in my head in the middle of the night. They are the village idiots that try to get me to run and hide. So again I turn to Brene Brown’s favorite Roosevelt quote about the arena, I’m going to try again and again because at least when I fall I will do so daring greatly.  It helps, but still, that is the fear.


Fittingly, Eleanor Roosevelt said: “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”




Silent film actress Dorothy Bernard said “Courage is fear that has said its prayers”


I had no trouble coming up with quotes and general advice about fear. It comes in so many forms, it is all around us everyday, it is simply part of being human. It has its place, but without understanding it and putting it in its proper place it can become debilitating. An excellent resource for this is The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker, a book I wish EVERYONE would read. You all know I love the science behind things and this author’s life’s work has been teasing the science out of our human intuition. That the subtle clues of our instincts give us what we need if we will just learn to listen to them. That there are specific, identifiable actions like Forced Teaming (an effective way to establish rapport where there is and should be none, ex: a stranger saying ‘we are a good team’), false or excessive charm, too many details (when people are telling the truth, they don’t feel doubted, so they don’t feel the need for additional support in the form of details. When people lie, however, even if what they say sounds credible to you, it doesn’t sound credible to them, so they keep talking), typecasting (labeling a person in some slightly critical way, hoping she’ll feel compelled to prove that the opinion is not accurate, like: are you a snob?), loan sharking (providing unasked for help that creates a debt), unsolicited promises (“When someone says ‘I promise’ you say - at least in your head - ‘you’re right, I am hesitant about trusting you, and maybe with good reason. Thank you for pointing it out), and discounting the word ‘NO’ (‘no’ is a word that must never be negotiated because the person who chooses not to hear it is trying to control you…if you let someone talk you out of the word ‘no’, you might as well wear a sign that reads, ‘you are in charge’)


and how each of these techniques often used by people who would do harm are made easier because women are raised to be polite, nice, and compliant. Reading this book I get chills, and not the good kind, because I can see how easy it is to fall into pretty classic traps. Rereading has been valuable because of the reminders and also because each time I see things in a new light. My 3 kids have read it also. I think what I like best about it though is that fear is, in fact, an extremely valuable gift and if we heed the lessons and know the patterns we can arm ourselves with strategies instead of pulling the covers up over our heads and hoping for the best!


I’d like to leave you with this quote by Marianne Williamson, likely many of you have heard it, but I always find it so inspiring:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” 






Guest Musician Bre Gregg with Dan Gildea
Bre Gregg brings the vocals for Portland band Red Bird. Dancing between soul, blues and roots. Bre is known for her complete vulnerability on stage, captivating every audience. Her writing is filled with joyful, painful and deeply honest feelings about her experiences being human on this crazy planet…something we can all relate to.


Courtenay Hameister
In 2003, she was asked to work on a new idea for a radio variety show that would become Live Wire—now a nationally-syndicated show on over 100 stations nationwide. She was the host, co-producer and head writer for the first 9 years, then stepped down and became co-producer and head writer for three more years.


In 2016 and 2017, she wrote a book about a year in which she tried to teach her anxious brain that everything would be okay by doing things that scared her. That book is Okay Fine Whatever: The Year I Went From Being Afraid of Everything to Only Being Afraid of Most Things.
​

As you are getting something to eat and drink, I want to welcome you to the party and get things started with a little housekeeping:

Barb Mathey, my steadfast Wild Women sponsor since the beginning, 7 years ago if you can believe it! She has her Juenesse products here to show you. Barb also sponsors the goody bags!

Shelly Morris at the back with her Lion & Rose soap, deodorant, and bath bombs. Check out her latest product label: Wild Women soap! You can find Shelly on Facebook and at many Farmer’s Markets…

Lisa Bakke, catering
Bartender Nicole Gregoire, Gatekeeper Julia Stenberg, photographer Tirzah, and keeping the music going Emily Aldridge

Table Hosts: Dani, Kathy Wery, Barb Mathey, Gail Young, and Laura Handke

I have printed up half sheets to both thank all my table hosts and support team and to also give you contact information if you want to get in touch, so please feel free to take that with you. OCF, 7Bridges, KP, Karlita

Raffle - ticket at the door? Additional $1 or 6 for $5, cash goes to the WildChild fund (I’ll talk more about that in a bit).

I’d like to also introduce our Guest Artist Bonnie Wilson Harold. She is an architect by trade, but has been a lifelong artist, creating, among other things, beautiful ceramics. She is the embodiment of feeding that inner creativity that we all need and crave despite all the demands of everyday life. In her words: "No matter how stressed I am from normal life, when I go to clay, it goes away! It can always de-stress me and make me happy and content. For that reason it is necessary and I fight hard to make room for it in my life because I know how important it is to me. I create all day with my work, but working in clay is different...it's cheaper than therapy!” Bonnie inspires me because she is so dedicated to her creativity. This is something that I have not prioritized myself, but really want to work on this!

and, in case you missed it, last March the WWS became a nonprofit corporation and we now have the official 501c3 designation. All of this is continually developing and I am so excited to see what more we can do in the future. (introduce board Em, Lisa, Barb, Sue Ellen).

The WWS mission statement remains: to bring women of all age, race, and background together to encourage self care. I have worked really hard to develop and create a platform where I can present Self Care to you in so many different ways. I do this to both to appeal to all your senses and to give us all exposure to different communities.

Because my mission is self care, and because there seem to be few events like this where it is NOT business networking and you are NOT expected to bring or do anything I have been hypersensitive to keeping the WWS distinctly non-commercial. It is a fine line though, because cash money can be a sensitive topic for just about everyone. When I present concepts and ideas to you I want to be super clear that my aim is to allow you to FEEL something and roll with it. I have been doing a lot of work with integrity: separating my social self (my personal answer to the world’s opinions) from my essential self (who I truly, honestly am, inside). Judgement (more correctly, fear of judgement) often makes us do things outside our integrity. Things that we don’t actually feel in our hearts. I can only speak for myself - what I am trying to create in this space is room for you to do what speaks to YOU. And I’m asking for all of us to allow that without judgement - of ourselves or others. Please know that I respect and value your integrity in deciding if and WHEN you respond to the different aspects of what you see here today because while I think we can all agree that we can get behind the idea of supporting each other, we are all in different spaces in our lives. I often tell people that one of the first parties I attended, before I took over the WWS, I was at one of the lowest points in my whole life. I forced myself to attend. I felt I had nothing to give. And I met one of the most amazing, out-there yet down-to-earth women ever. And since, I have had times on the opposite end of the spectrum where I was overflowing. Life is like this. I want you to know that I want you here regardless of whether you are ready to share or needing some sistering. What I feel so very strongly about is that support comes in many forms: yes, money, but also emotional sistering - vocalizing your support directly, showing up (to art shows, to concerts, to lend a hand), sharing food, and so many other ways. So with all that said, as much as I’d like to lalala dance around money and pretend that it doesn’t matter, that’s just not the way our world works. Much of what becomes a “personal issue” for us is what we make things mean. So bottom line, I want you all to be able to put your support behind WHATEVER IT IS THAT SPEAKS TO YOU. Again, I can only speak for myself but I respect those of you that honor your integrity and do only what your essential self calls you to do.  There is no honor in shelling out money that you cannot afford so that the woman next to you that you just met maybe, just maybe, might not judge you. Not necessary. Do what your heart tells you.

All this lead up can only mean one thing: I’m going to propose to you something that needs money! Well crap, I’m sorry to put you to the test immediately, but I have been developing my WildChild idea and casting about for creative ways to support these women. In my life coach training, a part of which is to constantly practice on yourself, there are many tools to help you drill down on the things in life that light up your curiosity and passion. For a time there I was struggling so much that I had trouble thinking of anything! Ugh, dark times. But with work and time they are bubbling up. Education is a biggie for me. This is a legacy directly from our parents, learning was important and highly valued for Lisa, and I and our two brothers. As I tend to do, I had forgotten that I did this, but right before Danielle was born I volunteered for Oregon Literacy, teaching adults to read. Then I taught my 3 children to read, Then I volunteered as an ESL tutor. I could go on and on about education but I’m no doubt preaching to the choir, nobody comes to an event like this without already possessing curiosity and an eagerness to learn. What i have been working on is setting up scholarship funds for Lisa and for Amara’s two daughters. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that when you wonder where (and how) you will live and eat, that college fund gets literally eaten. The Oregon College Savings Plan allows for a nonprofit corporation to set up an account with a named beneficiary (as many as we want). Contributions to these accounts are tax deductible on your Oregon return! The accounts are being set up and I will have links on the website should any of you feel called to support. Please know that even the smallest amount WILL make a difference.

So allow me to loop back around to talk about the whole WildChild concept. Because I wanted to add a charitable aspect to the WWS - one where we could add more than just money, we could explore the possibilities of supporting as a community, making connections that are helpful and sometimes life changing, and practice sistering. Amara was first. Many of you have come to know her personally, many of you have supported her, I want to share with you how she is doing. Amara has most recently had four of her photographs accepted into the upcoming LO juried art show called Capturing Place. Her work is up and on display until June 15th at the Arts Council on 1st st. She is also participating in an upcoming RAW artist show on June 27th. The event coordinators had approached Amara several times before she was able to participate. This is a great opportunity for her to sell her unique artwork and jewelry, but there is a requirement that she market and sell 20 tickets in order to have a table that night. She is just over halfway there. This is a unique and fun event with music, dance, and other live performances in addition to the vendor displays. To support Amara the tickets must be purchased online through her specific link which you can find on the website Home page starting tomorrow, Amara has fliers on her table, and on the credits sheet I have on your table.

When I started the WildChild program I thought perhaps I would have a new one each party but as my relationship with Amara grew it was clear that I wanted more time with her. As it has turned out, once a Wildchild forever a wild child. Amara has her jewelry and accessories for sale here (as well as on Etsy), her daughter Tirzah is here as our photographer, and we are going to continue to collaborate on my WC program

Initially I established that $2 of each paid door fee will go to our WC fund. Barb Mathey, who I introduced earlier, either runs or is involved in more charity events than I could even begin to list and is brilliant at fundraising, suggested that we sell additional raffle tickets with those proceeds going directly to our WC fund…done! And that has been a great success. but I still want to do more!

In February I introduced our newest WC, Lisa Carpenter. I first heard Lisa’s story from a mutual friend. In a nutshell, shortly before last Christmas Lisa’s landlord told her that they had decided to sell the property and she needed to be out of the home where they had lived for 20 years. A planned move is bad enough! It wasn’t easy, but Lisa navigated the move and her living situation is now more stable. Unchanged are her own chronic pain and her needs to support her son and disabled husband. Lisa has a job, but has been steadily working at an Associate of General Studies degree from PCC and wants to go on to complete her Gerontology End of Life Care certificate to ultimately pursue a career in elder care management. She is just 5 credits away from finishing the associates but since the Christmas bomb dropped, stripping her financially, physically, and emotionally, she has been unable to take classes. So close, and yet to take the final classes the price tag of $616.25 is insurmountable at this time. So we are setting up a college savings plan for Lisa as well. And again, should any of your choose to contribute, your donations are tax deductible on your Oregon return.

OK, hopefully I’ve laid the groundwork for WHY am I doing this and why take a slice of time for you one Sunday a quarter. Any questions?
now let’s get to the ANGER!

Many of you know my one-word theme just…comes to me. Sometimes I meet someone and then the word pops in my mind as we are talking. Often it just comes to me out of the blue. This one dropped in on me almost immediately after the last party. And I was not impressed or excited, I was scared as hell. In fact, with a pit in my stomach, I said “no!” and tried to ignore it. Next time (actually many times) I thought: nobody will come to a party with an Anger theme! What the hell kind of party is that?? It does get easier, this arguing with myself, really. BUT. I have learned a LOT about anger and it’s an interesting topic!

Anger is the emotion we snatch up to avoid less comfortable feelings - confusion, fear, sadness.

An excellent book called The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren (always, you can find these books I reference under the Wild Books tab on my website) had, for me, a life-changing take on Anger and certainly illumination on many other emotions.
The book explains that different emotions have internal questions that they are posing: for anger, what must be protected? and what must be restored? And then what you can practice to properly honor the gifts that the emotion is there for. Anger sets your boundaries by walking the perimeter of your soul and keeping an eye on you. People typically handle anger by either using it as a weapon or by shoving it down and repressing it. But neither of these options are healthy or conducive to good relationships. What if there is a third option? And there is. Channel the fiery intensity of anger into your boundary instead of repressing or exploding with it - THEN speak your truth or make your correcting actions. This will reset your boundaries in healthy ways, which will protect you and your relationships. I have also learned so much about boundaries! how did I not know that soft boundaries are just as undermining as rigid? I’m the person that would never get outwardly angry. I didn’t feel angry inside either, I just felt unheard, disrespected, and confused. Hmmm, sounds like something needed to be protected and/or defended! Now I have tools: when I feel anger (or fear, another form of anger) I can stop, take a deep breath and step back, and use it as an opportunity to shore up my boundaries. Or protect and defend. But from a place of groundedness and confidence, because I took that little bit of time to turn and ask myself what is true and necessary for me. I don’t know if I directly taught my children never to be angry but I sure modeled it. It certainly is not too late, but rather than teaching them to never be angry I would like to teach them HOW to be angry.

Anger is just anger. It isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It’s like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.

Anybody heard of the School of Womanly Arts, Regina Thomashauer?

“For me these days, it’s the misogyny, racism, and plain vanilla closed-mindedness that makes me want to explode. There are so many good reasons to be mad. What are you angry about, sisters? Self-serving leaders? The oceans filling with plastic? The cost of prescription drugs? So-called “women’s magazines” and what they say about the wrongness of women’s bodies? How much work there is to do to get through a day? The electric bill? Your partner who can’t put socks in a hamper? The parents of the kid bullying your kid? Your best friend’s cancer? Aging? All of it? There is so much to feel angry about.

The culture teaches women to shut down our anger, stifle our rage, and conceal our displeasure at all costs.

Because if we got angry, really angry, instead of swallowing it, it might swallow us. Right? And then who would pick up groceries, get everyone fed, and log back in late at the office?”

Here’s what I do, she says:
I sit with it and feel like shit.

I find the anger and outrage and fury in my body. Is it in my belly? My throat? The base of my skull? 

I give it my full attention. I don’t try to distract myself. Is it prickly? Is it oozing like tar? Burning like tequila?

I ask what it needs. Often the answer is movement, so I may stomp or dance. Or it could be sound, so I may howl or drum. Sometimes, it is tears.

I do this until I feel the next feeling, the one after the anger. 

When the anger shifts – and left to run its course it will... I listen. The wisdom always comes. 

From that connected place, I take right, aligned, inspired, creative action.

Anger that doesn’t receive this care and attention becomes leaky. 

It oozes out at the too-slow grocery store clerk, or in traffic, or at the kids, or the dog. It’s toxic… to our environments and to ourselves. And it makes us destructive and depleted, which goes against our nature as creative beings. So we don’t want to do that. 

And when it does receive this care and attention? 
Your anger becomes your wisdom. Your anger tells you how to create an extraordinary and meaningful life on your own terms, and it gives you the energy to do it. Your anger can change everything. For you, for others, for all of us.

Another thing to keep in mind is what Eckhart Tolle said “Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.”

Valerie Kaur, a TedTalk speaker sums it up for us: “Joy is the gift of love. Grief is the price of love. Anger is the force that protects it.”

Guest Musician Haley Johnsen  - I have been pinging her for a couple of years now and I am SO excited that, as I put it, the stars aligned at last. We’d been exchanging emails and texts, but I finally got to meet her in person a few months ago at a concert. When I told her the theme her eyes lit up and I knew it was TIME! Over the last few years since her time as a top 24 finalist on American idol Season 11, Haley has earned local and national attention by taking her impactful solo show on recent 2017 tours with Austin,Texas based band The Wind and the Wave, Seattle based band Gabriel Wolfchild and the Northern Light, and Season 8 winner of The Voice Sawyer Fredericks. I figure I don’t need to tell you how amazing her voice is or how engaging her songwriting is, you’re hearing that! And this is evident as well, but I liked the final words of her own bio: Haley’s heart is eternally, vulnerably, human. 

Guest Speaker Karlita Nabours-Palermo is a nurse practitioner for elders and hospice on even days. She is an astrologer, psychic, and spiritual counselor on rather odd days. I met Karlita through a class she taught at The Perlene (remember Kiki??). What struck me the most about her is her attitude and approach. Divination is all fun and games, but I believe the real answers come from within, and Karlita is one of those special souls that can help you draw those answers out yourself. The difficult and liberating work of profound self-empowerment is her guiding mission. She loves to identify clients' superpowers as well as shadows in a lighthearted, compassionate way. She is a teacher of yogic, meditative, divinatory, and material methods toward a more fun & fulfilled life.​

Take your time getting something to eat and drink, but as you do I want to welcome you to the party and get things started with a few thank yous:

Barb Mathey, my steadfast Wild Women sponsor since the beginning. She has her Juenesse products here to show you. Barb also sponsors the goody bags and they are so beautiful!

Shelly Morris at the back with her lovely Lion & Rose soap smellies

Lisa Bakke, catering
Bartender Sydni Hodnot, Gatekeeper Julia Stenberg, photographer Beth Hoover, gap filler Dani Gregoire.
Table Hosts: Sabrina Blair, Dianne Gregoire, Barb Mathey, Emily Aldridge, and Della Rae.

I have printed up postcards to both thank all my table hosts and support team and to also give you contact information if you want to get in touch, so please feel free to take that postcard with you.

I am so happy to introduce to you our Guest Artist Sarah Goodnough
Sarah is inspired by connecting people to an idea, thought or message. Her work is a stand for creating possibility, finding beauty and awareness in all things, and developing self actualization. She is in gratitude for all the gifts from the divine universe and to be living a life she loves. She believes in staying present to life and to take each day as a gift, rather than focusing on thoughts that can burden and entrap us. Which is the message she wants to convey to the world around her. Sarah has a number of workshops  she is putting on this summer, I am doing one called Paint Your Mind Garden in July.

My message has not changed, the mission statement remains: to bring women of all age, race, and background together to encourage self care. I am getting a stronger voice and I feel blessed that I have created a platform where I can present Self Care to you in so many ways. And I do this to both appeal to all your senses and to give us all exposure to our different communities. I like the term self care because it is broad and can mean different things to each of us. For me it all speaks to my personal North Star, the thing in life that sparks my passion, and that is love, relationships, and connecting people.

What I originally hoped to bring to the WWS was this love of bringing women together and the connections that come from that. What I am reminding myself and you is of this recurring theme of the power of women together.  I gather phenomenal women together like this because I love the magic that is created and the opportunities we have to support, encourage and care for each other, as well as practicing self-care.

Parker Palmer said: “Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”

So with the continued and consistent mission statement of self care and the goal to provide support as a community I am so thrilled to announce to you that I have turned the WWS into a nonprofit corporation with official 501c3 status. Sitting on my board are Della Rae, Barb Mathey, Lisa Bakke, and Emily Aldridge. The designation is only about 2 months old but already new doors are opening. We are cooking up fresh ideas and I am excited to see what we can grow and develop. As always, I’d love your feedback.

If you have been here in the last year, you know about our Wildchild Amara. I came up with this idea of “adopting” a local woman in need as a way of showing gratitude and giving back and a way to connect as a community. I’d like to ask Emily Aldridge to come up and read a letter that Amara wrote to give you an update.
<Emily reads Amara's letter here>
So, speaking to the theme of Enough, I always like to play with the different aspects of the word:
I have enough (lack, dreaming and scheming)
I am enough (self image, self esteem)
I have had enough (reaching your limit)

Of course, I am forever wrestling with “I am enough”. Like many of us, I, with all my heart, believe that everyone else is enough but struggle to apply it to myself almost every day.

I feel the category of ‘I have had enough’ is somewhat easier to bring to myself as a challenge and of course the current climate provides us plenty of opportunities. You know I like to share books that I read and I have to say that Waking up White by Debby Irving recently rocked my world and I highly recommend it. You can always find these books that I talk about on the ‘Wild Books’ tab of my website. The author describes it as the story of how she went from ‘well-meaning’ to ‘well-doing’. She grew in a family that prided itself on not complaining and pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, much like my childhood. Steeped in the “American Dream” that you can do anything and fed the idea that there is a level playing field, she fell into the trap that I did too and believed that attitude can overcome anything. The revolutionary part for me was her pointing out that yes, many of our families achieved through hard work, but it also came with massive tailwinds in our favor.

The author shows us that individual work to think about racism is crucial work to moving beyond racism and it requires 3 things:

1. curiosity
2. courage (courage begets courage)
3. tolerance (tolerating your OWN feelings of discomfort as you bumble along, make mistakes, and learn how to go from ‘well-meaning’ to ‘well-doing’)
   

But it asks us to consider whether it is right for some people in a group to thrive so much while others are withering and dying.

There is just way too much to this book, it is far too complex to take on all at once. But far too important to keep to myself! As I often return to ideas in subsequent parties, expect to hear more about this, and I would love hear from any of you that read it.

In the anti-bullying campaign: 1) bullies, 2) victims, 3) bystanders. The real power to change rests in empowering bystanders to become allies in the fight. De-escalation skills is another topic that I hope to bring to the party: I think sometimes we feel small and unable to affect changes but with understanding, education, and compassion we can make ALL the difference.

Along the lines of bystanders, what I want to show you next is taken from a video that Martha Beck posted on YouTube called the Pyramid and the Pool.
<demo here  - see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xz9IJMMWP4M to see Martha's video of it, it's amazing!>

The society that has been in place for years is structured like a pyramid, powerful, brutal, violent elite at the top, miserable working poor at the bottom. A Revolution to overthrow it often just creates another pyramid. People know this is wrong but they also so desperately want to get to the top.
Martha was trying to envision what an enlightened society would look like and came up with the visual of a pool of blue water, every person is represented by a stream of energy that flows into the pools, the subsequent wave energy interacts (positive-negative cancels, or two come together (constructive interference) to create greater energy. While she was thinking about how can a pyramid be turned into a pool, she realized that all along the pool has been forming around the pyramid. People that are enlightened and not necessarily at the top, are dissolving the pyramid. And the pool doesn’t destroy the pyramid, it includes it. It makes it into something clear, calm, and sweet. The people at the top are not even aware. This is not a revolution, it's a dissolution, and an inclusion.
And we do this by reaching inward to the heart instead of obeying the Ego. The mind serves the heart through art. Artists breathe in their own authenticity and breathe out their energy and light.
This is also what happened around Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, MLK
We ask the question: why should we make art when everything is falling apart?
(Toni Morrison) This is precisely the time when artists go to work, speak, write, do language, that is how civilizations heal.
In doing so, the pyramid and the pool become clear, and equal, and sweet, and inclusive
Breathe in, become clear, watch rigidity dissolve, breathe out and watch it affect those around you.

In February I shared with you a piece by Liz Gilbert about how the divine feminine is rising. She was describing the women’s march in Washington, how there are very few forces on earth more powerful than a woman who finally starts saying NO. And when millions of women gather to say NO at the same time? That’s true might.

I’m going to revisit a snippet of it here:
…Peace will come to the world only when women say to men…no, No, NO. It all ends today BECAUSE I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT.”
Until we women say in holy unison, “WE’VE ALL HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT”, nothing will ever change.
In other words, it is not enough to ask men to become more peaceful; women must become MORE FIRM.
Men have to find their hearts, yes - but women have to find their SPINES.

That’s what sanity looks like. And it’s divine…The mass awakening of the Divine Feminine.

And to re-emphasize that the Divine Feminine is about INCLUSION, not conquering, Dean Anne Jardin, speaking at Simmons College said
“Men build ladders, women build webs. Neither abandon our female inclination to build webs nor to minimize the value of hierarchy, learn to value both approaches and to know when to apply one over the other.”

I am in the middle of an online writing course that is being taught by Martha Beck and Liz Gilbert. Liz builds on the divine feminine again with this (and it’s interesting to note how her thinking has evolved just since January):

The next most radical revolution that will happen, that can happen and that needs to happen is for women to become relaxed. .. If you tell me that what we need for women’s revolution is for women to become strong and resilient and fierce and powerful, I will say to you that is not revolutionary. We have always had that.

Every single woman I know is strong and fierce and resilient and powerful. They have had to be because they have been embattled and they are also really, really anxious, really anxious. To be born a woman is almost to be born into a field of anxiety because you are anxious about your own safety. You’re anxious because you have empathy or anxious about everybody who you love. You are anxious about those people you see on the news getting hurt. You are anxious about that pile of plastic in the Pacific Ocean that is twice the size of Texas. You are anxious about the ice caps.
Everything is caused by worry because you care, and that’s how you have been taught to show you care, is to be terribly worried about everything. Worry is a word that comes to us from the Old English. The root of it is to wring as in to wring the neck of something. When you are worried, you are being wrung, and you know that, because that’s what worry feels like. You think that you cannot love and you cannot care and you cannot create and you cannot be an activist without being wrung, and I think, and love thinks, that you are wrong about that.
And that actually, if you really ponder how much your worrying has helped so far, and how much it’s made you a better mother, and how much you’re worrying has helped your children, and how much your worrying has helped your community, and is helping the world. I think if you’re very honest and you get very quiet, you’ll discover that the answer is not at all. Not one bit. In fact, the opposite, it has harmed you and everything it touches. To me, the most… revolutionary thing would be to see a relaxed woman walking around.
If you think I can’t be relaxed because “I work in a world that is dominated by men, and if I relax my grip for an instant, they will eat me like sharks.” I ask you to imagine yourself walking into that same environment tomorrow but relaxed, and how that would change the same crisis.
We had writing assignments each week and Liz shared her piece with the group - she painted the picture about that feeling of being stuck in life as a sort of a pit and trying so hard to get out, ending with dropping the shovel (and the idea of digging yourself out):

Move your hands about in the damp air until you feel a tiny strand of thread thinner than a cobweb. You’re almost afraid to touch it because you fear it might break. It will not break.
It’s just the thread of love from my heart to yours. This is the thread of mercy that says, “I have been exactly where you are. I am the same as you.” Now, feel about some more in the dark air. Can you feel all the other strands above your head? These are the filaments of love and mercy that connect you to every other human being who has ever lived, and to every other human being who has ever suffered, which is all of us. Every strand says, “I have been exactly where you are. I am the same as you.”
Everyone here is sending out a thread. Everyone here is wrapping that rope around her life, and every one of us here is going to get out because we’re all pulling each other, and we’re unstoppable.
I’d like to ask the table hosts to open their envelopes now and pass out the red threads inside to everyone at their table.
There are many stories from many cultures around the red thread. There is a Chinese legend of the red string of fate:  the gods tie an invisible red cord around the ankles of those that are destined to meet one another in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break. Similarly, the Western concept of soulmate or a destined flame, or even a soul family, rather than just one. The custom of wearing the red string dates back to Genesis 38 where it was worn to ward off misfortune. The tradition is popularly thought to be associated with Judaism’s Kabbalah (the ancient Jewish tradition of mystical interpretation in the Bible) and the story of Rachel who gave to others and was blessed in return.
If you want to, help each other tie the red thread around your left wrist (left because it is closest to your heart), and wear it as long as you wish. Traditions vary, some have 7 knots tied into the string, some wear the string until it falls off on its own. For today, let it be a reminder of the magic of our community.
And circling back to this, our growing Wild Women community: I want to create and be part of a community that is dialed in and supports - whatever it is that is meaningful to you: if you love art, take a class or workshop from Sarah. love music? support Stephanie’s shows and/or one of the many musicians pouring their hearts out in venues all over Portland! Want to stretch your brain and heart? Bev does workshops and one on one sessions. It is my honor and privilege to scout guests for the parties and present them to you and I give you my guarantee that when you engage with them you will find yourself with phenomenal women with kickass hearts.

There are between-party needs: If you want to be even more engaged at the parties I’m always looking for table hosts and support peeps. If you know potential speakers, artists, and/or musicians I’m always scouting. If you have ideas, suggestions, or feedback of any kind I want to hear from you! And our WildChild still has needs that we as a community could help her with. This, is our Common Ground.

Remembering Liz Gilbert’s idea of the revolutionary Relaxed Woman and remembering the WWS mission of self-care I would challenge you that: Until you can be a person who is standing in peace you cannot be of help to others.

And, If I can connect with one person then that is enough, I am enough

“The longer I live, the more I read, the more patiently I think, and the more anxiously I inquire, the less I seem to know...Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. This is enough.”
― John Adams

Thank you so much for showing up today!

I am so happy to introduce to you our Guest Musician, singer songwriter Stephanie Scelza
She was born to a pack of wolves and left howling on the doorstep of a human family in 1983. Her family realized she was different when she started singing before she could speak, and whisked her off to vocal lessons at the age of ten. She narrowly escaped a life of professional opera-singing when she found a guitar, quit her studies, and eloped with a band.


In addition to being a singer-songwriter, Stephanie is a gifted poet, a storyteller, and we have her to thank for the coffee items from Cafe D’Arte in the goody bags…and those are just the talents I’ve unearthed so far!

I am so excited to present to you our Guest Speaker Bev Martin:
She grew up in the Republic of South Africa and had experiences she could not explain. Like visits with family members who had passed onto the next life and ‘downloads’ of health and other information from people around her. She went on to study psychology, film, and theater arts. After graduating, she worked creating educational media for an international bank. Now her deepest joy is to give people who are hungry for greater meaning and spiritual solutions access to the answers within themselves – and the feeling of deep satisfaction that comes from connecting with their thoughts, wisdom, and true ideas.